What was shaping up to be a largely plan-less weekend actually unravelled has probably one of the most fun ones I have had in a very long time. Starting with a mass wine consumption on Thursday, a hilariously ill and mango vodka induced confident Friday and late night pitcher relaxation Saturday ending with a very odd confrontation all combined to peak my spirits to their all time high of 2013. So far..

Today I went home to the West End Estate to see dear old dad. He's doing just fine, and him and I decided baking ribs for lunch and then both retiring to our own most favoured couches for an hour and a half long sun nap was the best course for the afternoon. After we rose we went for a lovely walk on top of the hard frozen snow fields with the dog, sharing thoughts on current issues as well as how our lives were this week. I made the decision to polish my horridly salt stained jump boots to start my somewhat productive day and I found that performing such manual tasks allows for the mind to free itself and reflect. 

I realized that my 2013 so far has been a very odd and special one. That I've had revelations, if you will, in terms of what matters and what doesn't, and what should or should not be allowed to trip you up. 

I rang in the new year at my best friend's house as sore and shell shocked as can be due to being battered by an oncoming vehicle while I was walking across the King Edward/Templeton crosswalk completely legitimately in broad daylight, miraculously rising to my feet and actually being able to stay on them. The mental trauma will probably be engraved for a while, but the fact is I am the same man, and I am thrilled. I don't feel like getting into the details, but everything went well and no the man did not just drive away. This experience left me in an odd state for a while but I made some key decisions that don't really bear well with me but I knew I had to make them. It put into motion some projects I have always wanted to do but somehow never found the motivation for. 

I moved on to brushing my dog, a task I'll never know if he actually likes to have performed on him. He's very hot and cold in his old age, I find.

 At this point I realized that incident forced on me the choice to self record an EP that I may have been writing over a long time. I've always written things down whether they're outputted as single sentences or full songs, but I decided to man the fuck up and compile all my "works" and realize I actually have a shit ton of material to work with as well as the gear to make it sound somewhat listenable. I've already started, and regardless how it turns out I'm pretty stoked. Whether or not I've got talent I really do not know or care, nor do I write that to try and find reassurance, it's just something I really enjoy doing. Singing, strumming, songwriting. SSS.

I don't know, you get the idea that there really is not a whole lot you need to be frightened of, and that most things you are in fact scared of are constructs of your imagination and take one small push to pass through them unscathed (well, relatively). I am by no means saying I'm fearless. God no. I'm terrified of whether or not that next drink means I'm going to vomit everywhere or whether or not that assignment I submitted makes the difference of a pass or fail, but it's more knowing that once something happens...it's happened. It brings on a potentially sad revelation that maybe I am not an interesting person whatsoever, simply a completely average individual who has had interesting things happen to them. The question of whether or not that is really a bad thing. It presses onto you that asking a girl to have a drink with you really shouldn't come off as a monstrous ordeal or having a drunken lunatic threaten to break your nose is now somewhat totally laughable ("somehow I doubt you punch as hard as a car", type of thing). 

I go now and start a fire in the fireplace for my dad to a)heat the house for the night before I head back into the city and b)show I'm not totally useless. 

So in the end what have I come to conclude? That 2013 will probably be just fine. That what happens, happens. That I'll get around to doing what I truly enjoy and hopefully spend it with the ones that make me feel just fine. Gilmour is proving to never disappoint. 

Do what you like! You'll be alright!

Whatever comes my way, I shall encounter it while wearing a fine ass pair of boots.

And for fuckssakes look both ways.

Keep the memories in your bones.

Passive aggressiveness that is unreasonably directed is something I am seeing wear me down presently. It's incredibly difficult to not notice and to shut out, and even more frustrating as to why  an individual feels the need to unjustly take the side of the person in question hopefully thinking that silently being an asshole will result in a positive outcome. Allow the relationship between the two people who are going through an uncertain time in their lives to remain between them and leave your bullshit idea of an opinion out of it. If in your eyes I did something "wrong" to your friend by being honest with them, you can think that, sure, but it is not your call to make or to voice it. If you actually think I just nonchalantly cut a chord to an entire new network of friends I took 7 months to get to know, you clearly don't feel like being one of them. 

And that's sad. That's really fucking sad. Not only for you, but for me. 

It's just quite unfortunate to watch as all the people I was introduced to and the people I brought introductions to carry on their relationships as I get to sit on the sidelines reminiscing. Ridiculous. My only wish is that someday people watching can wake up and realize sometimes it just doesn't work out. 

Sorry for not being Hollywood. 

Here is the first edition of the Saturday evening raw and half drunk cover song series.

This song is by Fake Problems and is entitled "Songs for Teenagers"

Just understand me as I understood you.

BEIN' busy famjamalammin', reading up on my wine and definitely drinking enough of it. Besides that I've decided it would be a cool idea to go back to the gym on a somewhat (haha, definitely somewhat) regular basis because being a stick is only so cool for so long. 

Holidays were good, I don't have much to explain on that note. I hope that yours were as well, whatever you got up to. 

Random thought: that Hunter Moore guy is launching a new site where you can throw nude photos of your ex or whatever up on to get "revenge". That guy should probably just go royally fuck himself with a cactus and croquet mallet, but on the flipside the fact sending each other nude photos was a step you were willing to take, so...no content is really sacred these days. 

Moving on

With 2013 starting up and no turning back (duh) it's time to buckle down again. Although I don't really have anything dead set this year that I consider to be exciting e.g. no trips planned, new jobs..whatever, I still have a lot of things going on/that I am trying to accomplish. For one, I'll be halfway through attaining my level 1 Sommelier certificate, and for someone my age...that's pretty damn cool (I mean, If I say so, anyway...). I don't know what to say really, I just love the world of wine now. Which leads me to my next paragraph...

I want to launch a wine website! The thing is, I don't really know what I would focus on as I don't really want it to be a generic thing. You can google a ton of questions you may have about wine and you'll get decently good answers/pointed at really good wine blogs. So my question to you, the reader, is this: what do I make the site about? I was thinking  of not bothering to write about 60$ Bordeaux or 40$ entry level Amarone (not that I can fucking afford it, anyway), but rather wine on the cheap but doesn't shed quality...because there is actually a ton of it. You can have a 50$ bottle of wine and you may hate it compared to your trusty 13.95$ bottle, and that's what makes wine so much fun and magical! Everyone is so different in their preferences. I feel like if you ask me things about wine I can answer in a fashion that will be simple to understand. If you want to get into wine, I can recommend wines to go with everyday meals, wines you can just drink by themselves and how to impress a date. Maybe. Let me hear what you want to know!

Random thought #2: I found my element jeans that were at the bottom of my drawer and oh my GOD they fit great. 

I really want to hit the slopes soon! We have had so much snow and my board is beautifully tuned and I wear bright blue pants and a hot pink jacket so there is REALLY no reason why I should not be there right now. 

I also am going to sit down with my recording gear and just lay down some acoustic demolos of songs I've been working on silently in the wee hours which is why no one hears them...putting an ensemble together is proving to be damn tough with time but it's a shame, there's so much potential in Ottawa especially with so many new venues that have come to fruition in the last year. I will be getting back into the open mic nights though, those were just fun. If I know any drummers with a place to play...please talk to me:)

On the listening front, I've been really getting into the Arkells' first album, Jackson Square. I didn't really love them as much as I do now until the second record but MAN this is a strong debut. It's one of those "not a bad song on it" records. For reals. One of my favourite bands, for sure.

I, uh, apologize for this kind of being a non funny and generally kind of crud blog post all about me BUT PLEASE tell me what you think of the wine website thing. It's something I really want to try and get off the ground you know?

Anyways, here's a pic of me you can totally use as a desktop wallpaper:
The cut on my chin is from getting really drunk and going tobogganing. I have no regrets.

Keep the memories in your bones.

p.s the wine thing. I'm serious.