I recently received some pretty random feedback about this website/this here blog in general. It's no one most you of who may be reading this know, but actually from someone who follows me on twitter who lives overseas. They won't be named, but they told me my blog was too "opinionated". I personally do not see how it could be taken that way, as I do try to be as open about things I can, but I promptly told them that there's a cool follow/unfollow button on my profile they can click as they see fit. If you don't like what I write here, you don't have to read it. I don't ask you to, it would be cool if you did and I'd love if you took something from it but that's not the goal. These are my thoughts on matters, and by thinking of them I formulate opinions. I think it's safe to say we all do.
Opinions are interesting. We all have them. Some are very light opinions that are susceptible to change very easily, others are hardwired in over the years we've been around. We all have an opinion about anything and everything. It's as simple as "hey Marco what do you think about THIS?" and then I tell them. Obviously there are a ton of "well it depends.." scenarios but that goes without saying. I'm going to share some opinions here, not to try and start an argument or single people out, but to show that yeah, I am opinionated. I think and feel a certain way towards a lot of stuff, and I am open to have my opinion altered. The thing is, nine times out of ten we don't always agree with other people's opinions, but it's not at all our place to try and change them (to an extent, I just don't want to get that specific here.). If you believe someone's opinion to be dead wrong, you are some kind of an ass. You don't have to agree with it, of course not, but that does not mean it is wrong. Think about this. When someone challenges my opinion, I try to be open and hear what they have to say, and I'm fine with people not agreeing with me. It happens a lot. Also as an edit note: pretty much all of the opinions I state, I am guilty of performing/thinking the counter action. I dare you to not say the same.
I don't think the Canadian healthcare system is the shit. "But Marco, it's free!". Yes, but it makes people very irritable and impatient. The fact is, when compared to the US, the Canadian way may be free, but that does not necessarily make it more efficient. You WILL wait in the emergency room for potentially hours, because guess what? 75% of the time it's not an emergency. People waltz into the ER with a cup of Tim Horton's in their hand and then get annoyed because they've waited an hour. Well yeah, because you have gas pain, you're not in labour. Or you have high blood pressure and some chest pain is acting up. I'm sure that coffee is helping (i'm off track). It makes us disregard our own health to an extent, and in itself is the reason the system can be so inefficient. Scenario: a man breaks his wrist and gets an xray and cast. Cast gets removed eventually, the man is given a brace. The man does not wear the more flimsy brace because he can be free of the forces that kept his wrist at bay, even though the good doctor has told him to keep that brace on. The man goes against this because he knows if anything happens he can go back to the hospital, get it rescanned, casted and braced. Basically, in the long run the wrist will be healed. This man was me, last March. That was my mentality that thus lead to this opinion (my wrist is fine now). If this was my life 5 hours South-bound, this process would have cost me hundreds of dollars.
I hate how MDMA is becoming the casual "go to" drug. "But Marco, it makes you feel so good and you don't have to smoke it!". No, it makes you fucking obnoxious, and I had this thought while being completely hammered myself, so that's saying something. "But Marco, what's the difference between that and getting drunk?" Biologically? Morally? Psychologically? Where would you like me to begin? I have no doubt it feels really fantastic, it's overproducing serotonin and thus giving you this overpowering sensation of bliss, excitement and happiness, amongst other things. It also makes you a useless sack of human the next day. Yeah, hangovers are rough, but I can still be happy. I can go through my day being hungover and not be a douche. Because I still have happy hormones in my brain. Because I'm not crashing. Crashing is very much a real thing. I understand the thought of "this is the time to try new stuff" I get that wholeheartedly with the keyword being "TRY". You tried MDMA. You tried this and that. Doing it all the time is not "trying" that is "doing". Being high around me is fine, I will not judge you for doing drugs. That is unfair and unjust because it is not a reflection of who you normally (soberly) are, just don't be a prick about it. I don't usually knock things before trying them, but I have zero interest in truly mind altering substances. I've been high, sure, but it didn't do much for me (I felt it, trust me oh Lord did I feel it) but I don't know...it's not something I particularly cared for. I'd take sipping on drinks 'til I feel mellow with my chums over that any day of the week.
I guess my bottom line here is that I really don't appreciate it when someone is bold (by that I mean being rude) and tells me what I think is wrong. I will inquire as to why you think a certain way, but in the hopes of understanding why, not to ridicule you. Views on almost everything can be ambiguous. If you find yourself saying "wow I can't believe so and so believes this" you are currently making an ass of yourself. It's not your place. Opinions are something one should be able to look past. Remember, the main rule of what I write here is that I'm guilty of all this stuff. I write this not as a "this is what you should do to improve yourself, because I sure did!" it's more like I'm writing it for myself as well. In fact I mainly write for myself. I write this as advice for myself and maybe for you as well.
I don't even know what I'm writing about anymore
- Team Zissou
I love writing. I really do. I like the physical aspects of typing on a nice keyboard. Especially mechanical ones. Those are the ones that are really clicky. like the annoyingly loud ones. macbook keyboards can do the trick.
i love a good pen on good paper. nice thick, rougher paper. the real shit. the kind that makes a scratchy noise when you write on it even with the smoothest tipped pen. sketching paper is like that. i buy hardcover sketchbooks to write songs in because i associate normal paper with writing normal things like equations and why i think oil spills are bad.
with the love for writing naturally comes the love for reading. lately i have been reading more and more things online, mainly blogs. i really enjoy them. even if it's someone i've never heard of before or isn't really anyone..well known i guess? (comme moi) it's still really entertaining and engrossing to read what is on someone's mind or a story.
however, when i mean blog, i really do mean like...a blog. something like this, and by this i mean solely words (except for fun little selfies like miiiine). you know, reading. i don't mean people's tumblrs. i don't hate tumblr, i just kind of woke up one day and was like "yeah, i don't really get it." and moved on. i like reading stories too, and interviews.
i've been spending a lot of time on reddit's AMA thread
, because that can be incredibly hilarious but also educational. some seriously good stories. the blog i most recently found that is really quite good is one by the drummer of the Gaslight Anthem, Benny Horowitz, which you can find here
. it's good writing that one outputs when they can't sleep, which is when i find it's easiest to formulate those deep thoughts into words. he writes about life as a travelling musician, but also general happenings and world views north americans have but also ones placed upon us.
what blogs do you like? topic specific ones or just general ones where people write whatever about whatever? shoot me some ones that you enjoy, and if you have one i'd love to check it out! you can leave a comment or hit me with some on my twitter
. i'm open to pretty much anything except blogs by celebrities. the reason for that is it's very easy to spot things they don't actually mean and are only writing to please the masses. that's understandable, but they are only human like us (i KNOW, right?!) so just write like one.
i recommend trying it out.
just write it down.
so i just finished writing my last exam for my last summer course. that's all neat.
the story starts while getting to my apartment downtown.
east bound rush hour on the 417 starts at about 3:30 pm, like clockwork. everytime. it's not jammed ass on ass but it's not exactly easily maneuverable. it's what i would call tense traffic. something you'd have to turn down the radio for and tell your co-driver to shut up for. i was in the middle lane and things were closing up ahead and i saw a small older (by this i mean utterly crappy) sedan blink past me going at least 150kmph. now, the cars up ahead are slowing down fast, this lane is closing up and this driver decides to cut me off, deek back into the fast lane and keeps doing this to make up time. it was a young woman driving (this post is NOT about female drivers, ya'll tend to do just fine by me.) so i immediately thought "young driver" and then connected it to "idiot".
then i asked myself: "am i a good driver? am i safe driver?" not really. not really when i and you think about it. as the traffic slowed to a near halt i broke it down for myself in my head.
we hear stories of kids our age (early 20s) dying in god awful car accidents and it is really sad. but i don't find it sad because i'm thinking of the families (i'm not an awful person that's obviously sad just bear with me) i think it's sad because we actually think we are in control when we drive the way we drive.
let's break it down some more.
if you are flying down a highway at over 100kmph with one hand on the steering wheel the only thing you are mildly in control of instantly is the direction your vehicle will be going at 100kmph. your stopping distance is huge. last year there were dozens of cases in ottawa alone of teens getting killed because of texting and driving. do we actually
think that we can formulate a response to even the most simplest of messages using the cognitive processes of our brains while at the same time attempting to commandeer an object that weighs over a metric ton that is travelling at speeds unreachable by our own two feet? while being in control? are we THAT sad? this isn't doable. safely, that is.
hell yeah, i'm guilty. late at night, the last open stretch, i'll check my phone. i'll fire off a few words while driving. i get that. if you feel you have to do it, there's a time and place.
the bottom line of this is guys...from one of you to..well one of you: don't be an idiot behind the wheel. i'm not talking about blasting your favorite tunes on an open (keyword fucking OPEN
) highway with your bestfriend. that's alright. or shooting down the highway (hint i mean a fucking OPEN
highway) late at night and ungodly speeds. there is a time, there is a place.
just don't think you can floor it in a 40 zone, get up to 70 and think you'll be able to stop at the stop sign line that has someone crossing infront of it in time. don't think you can be drunk and drive safe. do not think for a fucking second
you can have that much of inhibiting substance in your system and be able to perform at the same level that you were hours before. there is no time and place for that. do not fuck around with booze and cars. i have had a bottle of wine to myself and driven home the same night. that is definitely not cool, but i can promise you (and i have people to vouch on this) i wait hours
before driving back, which is usually waking up incredibly early to do so. the alcohol is still in my system and enough to get me nailed if tested, but it's not messing with my senses. if you are drunk and driving, and i am in that vehicle, you will be dead to me, regardless of whether or not that trip ends our lives (WOW that was intense to type).
i'm guilty for sure. i am not untouched by anything i write about, and i'm not writing this right now to try and freak you out or tell you you're a shit driver or not. this is just how it is. regardless of how cautious YOU are , there are people like me/us out there you won't be giving 100% attention.
so to that incredibly stupid driver today: what you were doing was the equivalent of running down a hallway that has a football match happening in it with explosives strapped to your body. if you fucked up one hairy ass lane change by millimetres people would have no doubt gotten killed.
so fuck you, and fuck people like us.
do you ever try something brand new that you saw yourself doing with complete ease and it readily backhands you in the face being like "ha, go home, little grasshopper."?
video editing. has a shitty learning curve. i've always made the joke that i'm "software retarded" (if you don't like the term retarded, i get that, i try not to use it, but let's be real people aren't going to stop using it when they're still calling things "gay" edit: what the fuck are you? 10?)
MOVING ON, when it comes to software in general, like itunes, photo rendering/editing, even with audio programs that i use a lot, i'm just...bad with them. hardware, my god i'm good. i built my own pc, i understand the concepts of resolutions, inputs, outputs, speaker wattage and more but what is actually going down inside a computer..go away.
i'm using sony vegas, a well known program but it's not that user friendly when compared to say, an adobe product. i'm not using those because well...cause..i..totally didn't get vegas for free via naughty things online..no way man...
it's tough when you want to work with high quality video. there's codecs to use (whatever the fuck those are), trimming, meshing, stretching, compressing and rendering and oh honey that's not even playing with the audio yet. it's a lot to begin with but i know i'll find a good workflow that's time efficient and the final product won't look like a pixelated view of smeagle's ass.
so i guess what i'm getting to is do you enjoy things that have a bit of a steeper learning curve? something you have to actually throw yourself at to get good at? why? so it gives you that feeling that not everyone can just "do it"?...because i'll be honest i don't mind that. heck yeah, beautiful woman over there i'll render that video for you. OORRRR do you like things you can ease into well..easily? things you can just casually do and figure that you'll know where everything is? because i'm about three seconds away from throwing things and becoming a lumberjack. for days.
anyways i'm delirious and tired and need to be back at work in 8 hours. also i have an exam thursday worth 60% of my mark and is 60MC questions. this prof needs to go to rehab.
have you guys seen miley cyrus without any hair? if not you can see her beautifulness here
cheers from the observation deck that i thought up in a dream,
writing entries on the actual website editor doesn't autocorrect my capitals so i'm saying "fuckitYOLO" and not capitalizing anything anymore because i'm a hater.
i notice my interests go through incredibly heavy phases. by this i mean i'll be hardcore interested in one thing that is usually a broad topic and get into every aspect of it. this may be potentially and completely normal but i paused today and realized that about myself.
for instance right now i am really into war movies, stories and stats. they can be amazing and/or really sad, and i don't know..it's just really interesting stuff. i'm watching the HBO series "The Pacific" and liking it so far, and i'm looking at all these crazy pictures of crazy vehicles. did you know there was a vespa modified to carry a huge rocket launcher to blow up tanks? that's 50cc's of pure fucking terror. if you don't know what a vespa is, go away. this all no doubt has to do with my new friends in shacktactical but whatever maaaan it's good to know some military history. impresses those scary army dads who don't want you near their daughters.
i'd like to also say that it's entirely possible to become really good friends with someone online. some may think that sounds lame but i really think it's doable. it's just modern day pen palling. which was a hell of a lot more romantic but whatever i can type fastish. i don't think i'd ever do the online dating thing aw hell no. just stalking around.
anyways, some of my favourite war flicks are as follows
- black hawk down ( amazing cast )
- we were soldiers ( mel gibson is glorious jog on haters)
- the thin red line ( interesting take on soldier's minds )
- cold mountain ( kind of a war movie jog on haters i weep )
- saving private ryan ( the title of this movie gets weirder every time i say it out loud )
- the patriot ( see 2nd entry )
there are a lot more but if you want to see war flicks that aren't all BANGBANGBOOM and actually get inside your head and make you feel something these are some good ones. i also like these ones because although there may be technically main characters they do split up camera and voice time pretty well between all of them. also they're not all like "heck yeah we beat the other guys and the good guy lives" endings. which is good and realistic.
so if you care at all about what i'm spending some free time on this is it...i'd love to know what you guys are into as of now as well! leave a comment i set it up so it's easy!
..please leave a comment?
TempleRadio episode 4 is coming very soon as well i promise, thanks again guys a ton of you are listening and downloading it's an amazing feeling.
the day Graeme returns as my main ballerstack cohost fast approaches. winter is also coming, if you're into that kind of shit.
So after a lot of thought and revising I decided to delete my tumblr account because I hadn't been there for a very long time and I just wasn't using it for me anymore. It became a game of reblogging and seeing how many likes I could get, who would reblog it etc. Typing things without saying names but you wanted the unnamed to read it and feel lit. Whatever, I won't get that here.
So this is where I'll write things about my life and what I'd like to achieve! School is starting up soon, and I've dropped down to part time status because I need to take a step back and figure out what it is I'd like to do. Also, it seems I've discovered many new hobbies over the last year I'd like to devote more time to and hopefully see results...namely writing. This is going to sound lame...but I've also discovered the internet. I made a youtube account, I'm getting into creating videos about gaming and I'm getting more and more ambitious ideas to do short films, potentially one about the change of adolescents' views on music and how much it plays into their lives and- okay I'm getting carried away. I just have all the means right in front of me to pursue these ideas but I've just been too scared and lazy. Scared lazy. Whatever.
I've recently made contact with people I use to game with from San Diego, California who have pretty successful youtube channels and have given me many pointers, so I'll be getting heavily into that once I'm downtown more often than not. I recently joined an online gaming group called Shack Tactical who are well known on the internets and youtubes for their ArmA2 gaming, which is a hyper realistic military simulator. We get together on Wednesday and Saturday nights and play intense missions with usually over 100 people on their server. So full out battles with insane amounts of planning and precision go down. I'm really excited to be part of it. You can watch a video of a typical mission from one of our Corporals here
. And this is Shacktac's website
Besides that...I'm flying out of Victoria BC at midnight tonight..landing back home in Ottawa for 9am and hopefully making it to work for 10! Red eye night and I'm feeling alright.