I just had a fantastic Christmas Eve dinner and am being truly honest when I say that this is the first Christmas in quite some time that I am actually excited to spend at home. I think I may get back into this holiday thing. People in my life...you are the reason for this. Thanks for being real.

So in full fondness...Merry Christmas. I hope you spend it well and with the ones you love. 

<--Motherfuckin' bolo ties.

Keep the memories in your bones.

I recorded this a while ago as a rough little demo called "Young Lions" with just acoustic guitar, two electric guitar tracks and a vocal track. I'm hoping I get the time to make it much better because it was a long time coming to write and if I can be super lame for a minute it's about a lot of shit that happened over 2012. FUCK IT, I'M DRUNK AND  YOUNG. 
The fact is this is only being written because I could not fight the urge to pop into Starbucks 2 hours before my shift at Second Cup begins. I don't even care about money anymore.

My dad recently returned from being in South Africa for 3 months reconnecting with his homeland and spending time with my sister who was doing an internship (or whatever) there. He's a little shell shocked by the weather but is adjusting well; he's a pretty seasoned traveller, that one. I don't know if that was the proper use of a semi colon, but you can royally fuck off if it wasn't.

I went home today just for a few hours to spend some time with him and have tea, because that's what dapper lads like us do. In a house of boys, you drink tea, bro. My 20th birthday is in one week today and I'll admit I've been a little lost over the years with what I'd like to do with my life, but I realize more and more that it's a common thing. Not for people our age, even. Just...a common thing. I always get told "you'll figure it out" but it's just one of those things you don't even know how to approach, and it seems ridiculous to even try to do so as it is quite literally your entire life. 

If you know Franzy boy, you know he is...intense. This whole time I've been going to school I've been pretty freaked out about how he feels about my studies and how he's viewed me when I break the usually bad news about my lacklustre grades. Lately things in school have been going really well (I think) which is a bloody nice change, let me tell you. So as I left after our brodeo tea time, we hugged. I love hugs, especially when the one I am hugging is even marginally close to my 6'5 height. I made a joke saying something like "I'm 20 next week dad, and what on Earth have I even done?". He laughed nervously, let me walk away a few steps to gather my things and said:

"You know I'm fine with all that. It's not about formal education, it's about education. You know what you don't want to do, and that's what's important. You can be 55 and still have no idea what the hell you want to do." 

And just like that I felt really, really okay. Coming from the one dude I try my hardest to impress and feel down when I'd come up short, he just told me I'll be okay, and that what I'm doing is okay. I realize I have learned a ton. Just about  life, what it can do to people. What it does to me.

What do I want to do with it? I don't know. Be happy, mainly. I've realized I love to talk about wine, I love computers, to make people smile and laugh and do all of these things while strumming the guitars I bought that I can't actually afford alongside my best friend. 

Although everyone reading this is not a starving child in a developing country, life is still really tough. Life brings you up and deflates you, knocking chips off the main block to sculpt the figure that is you, and put it through the harshest of motions. I've been on top of the world and I've had life kick the shit out of me to the point where you finally see clearly and laugh hysterically at yourself for even trying to see past tomorrow. 

He also said "I know you're going to be famous one day, but just study until then, okay?". Laughter...

So what am I doing? Haha...just having a shot at it, man. Same as you.

For some comic relief after that hunk of literature, I'd like to bring up the point of why the FUCK people think hot tubs are sexy. Oh yeah baby, let's be really minimally clothed in a very small body of water while we sweat out on average a pint every hour and let it once more seep into our skin and create this beautifully majestic frothy foam to top this romantic love latte we're bathing in. Also, your skin just feels amazingly DRY and SCALED afterwards due to the Chernobyl caliber chemicals that are free roaming in there. Unless of course you monitor the water of your erotic oasis closely enough to keep all the levels perfect, which no one fucking does. 

I love hot tubs, seriously that shit is a worthy investment. 

Keep the memories in your bones.


p.s. this post was actually a huge hint drop that my birthday is next Sunday so let's go get me something nice, okay? 

Here's a pic of a punk celebrity: 
Yes yes Mr. Climatology. The world is burning before us and yet we sit here with our 4 digit laptops and full screen phones sending emoticons to lovers and talking behind each other's backs. 

Let's talk about being YOUNG, right? YEAH being a fucking WILD CHILD, YEAH. There is a very fine line of going wild on a weekend or a certain celebratory event and having a good time, and being a total ass. Lately over and after a weekend I've found myself having to send out apologetic texts and such for things I, in my own mind, formulated to be things that if were directed at me I would have labelled as very questionable and probably quite crass. 

I think the "fuck it, I'm young" excuse worked a lot better back in the day. Blaming things on your age instead of your own mindset can get a little funky at times. Smoking cigarettes now will probably make the habit set in for the rest of your life, firing off joints every afternoon will no doubt mess with your schedule for all things important that one should be focused on, but I get it. This is the time for that kind of thing, sure. It's a tough line to make out. It's just lamer now, getting drunk and shooting off a mass message saying someone is being an asshole, sending garbled drunken texts to a girl you like asking "how are you" at 3am is probably not the most discrete way to go about that whole scene. Getting royally pissed because someone isn't answering their phone past midnight, or at 8am on a Sunday. I don't know. We can all be pretty ridiculously unreasonable. It's just annoying at times, and although I am guilty of everything I ever write about, I wish we could just all get together, put our phones in a box and just make a night of it. It probably won't ever happen because I fucking LOVE instagram but such is life now. How do you feel about that? I don't think there's a "we could do that if we wanted to" thought about it. I believe this is truly just how our lives are now and it's very exciting and utterly crushing at the same time. This is what it's like to be young now, and it's good incentive to grow the hell up. But also it's fun. WHAT AM I SAYING. You should want to grow up. 

You know what? Just be rad. Don't be a dick. But, be a dick. When you have to be. You cannot go through life without sometimes being a dick. Sometimes people need to be shot off their high rise stands, I know I do. Once in a while I just need a "Marco, you just need to shut up." moment. I get that. I strive to be a fine human but there's a twinge of "well if you're not going to be one why should I?" which is understandable. You can't be perfect, yet we all know that and still try to be. Resilience. That's admirable. Just don't beat yourself up when you realize it won't happen. If you don't know the person next to you, you can't label yourself as better than them. If you do know the person, you don't know them well enough to label yourself as better them, and you probably never will. WHAT OF IT.

I need to do some Christmas shopping pronto. 

Watch this video and laugh. HARD.

Listen to this band and enjoy it. MUCHLY. 

I'm off for my 2nd latte of the day. Ideal coffee on Dalhousie makes the best latte in the city. And my day job is making lattes, so that's saying something. I like to think I make good lattes.  If any of you jerks ever visited me at work you could maybe attest to that. But I understand the need to get the perfect photo of your starbucks cup. You love starbucks so much but you'd never work there. Fascinating. I'm being a dick. Fuck it, I'm young.

Here's a video of myself and some good friends playing a cover of Coldplay's "Fix you" and I totally fucked up my first note. It's Wilson's channel and he has cool covers of cool songs filmed in cool HD.

Here's a pic of said performance:

Keep the memories in your bones, don't be a dick.