The fact is this is only being written because I could not fight the urge to pop into Starbucks 2 hours before my shift at Second Cup begins. I don't even care about money anymore.

My dad recently returned from being in South Africa for 3 months reconnecting with his homeland and spending time with my sister who was doing an internship (or whatever) there. He's a little shell shocked by the weather but is adjusting well; he's a pretty seasoned traveller, that one. I don't know if that was the proper use of a semi colon, but you can royally fuck off if it wasn't.

I went home today just for a few hours to spend some time with him and have tea, because that's what dapper lads like us do. In a house of boys, you drink tea, bro. My 20th birthday is in one week today and I'll admit I've been a little lost over the years with what I'd like to do with my life, but I realize more and more that it's a common thing. Not for people our age, even. Just...a common thing. I always get told "you'll figure it out" but it's just one of those things you don't even know how to approach, and it seems ridiculous to even try to do so as it is quite literally your entire life. 

If you know Franzy boy, you know he is...intense. This whole time I've been going to school I've been pretty freaked out about how he feels about my studies and how he's viewed me when I break the usually bad news about my lacklustre grades. Lately things in school have been going really well (I think) which is a bloody nice change, let me tell you. So as I left after our brodeo tea time, we hugged. I love hugs, especially when the one I am hugging is even marginally close to my 6'5 height. I made a joke saying something like "I'm 20 next week dad, and what on Earth have I even done?". He laughed nervously, let me walk away a few steps to gather my things and said:

"You know I'm fine with all that. It's not about formal education, it's about education. You know what you don't want to do, and that's what's important. You can be 55 and still have no idea what the hell you want to do." 

And just like that I felt really, really okay. Coming from the one dude I try my hardest to impress and feel down when I'd come up short, he just told me I'll be okay, and that what I'm doing is okay. I realize I have learned a ton. Just about  life, what it can do to people. What it does to me.

What do I want to do with it? I don't know. Be happy, mainly. I've realized I love to talk about wine, I love computers, to make people smile and laugh and do all of these things while strumming the guitars I bought that I can't actually afford alongside my best friend. 

Although everyone reading this is not a starving child in a developing country, life is still really tough. Life brings you up and deflates you, knocking chips off the main block to sculpt the figure that is you, and put it through the harshest of motions. I've been on top of the world and I've had life kick the shit out of me to the point where you finally see clearly and laugh hysterically at yourself for even trying to see past tomorrow. 

He also said "I know you're going to be famous one day, but just study until then, okay?". Laughter...

So what am I doing? Haha...just having a shot at it, man. Same as you.

For some comic relief after that hunk of literature, I'd like to bring up the point of why the FUCK people think hot tubs are sexy. Oh yeah baby, let's be really minimally clothed in a very small body of water while we sweat out on average a pint every hour and let it once more seep into our skin and create this beautifully majestic frothy foam to top this romantic love latte we're bathing in. Also, your skin just feels amazingly DRY and SCALED afterwards due to the Chernobyl caliber chemicals that are free roaming in there. Unless of course you monitor the water of your erotic oasis closely enough to keep all the levels perfect, which no one fucking does. 

I love hot tubs, seriously that shit is a worthy investment. 

Keep the memories in your bones.

M

p.s. this post was actually a huge hint drop that my birthday is next Sunday so let's go get me something nice, okay? 

Here's a pic of a punk celebrity: 
 


Nancy
01/14/2013 1:48pm

Marco you are a great kid and I love ya to bits :) You'll get there one step at a time!

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